Of Friday Last

Last Friday I was part of both a physical as well as digital congregation to welcome in the Sabbath. By the laws regarding the physical community I observed the Sabbath with, I should not have been able to take part in the cyber community in welcoming in their Sabbath. However, I am not currently shomer Shabbas, therfore I felt no great guilt about participating in the online congregation. Rather, the only thing I felt was slighlty tired as I had to stay up to midnight local time for the observances to begin. This was after a week filled with late nights for one reason or another.

I hoped that such a comparison (based off of the limits of my capability) would help be find which community I felt more more comfortable with. While the physical congregation offers things that the electronic congregation cannot, the ideals of the electronic congregation are more in line with how I am coming to understand Jewish practice. With the background that I am comming to the Jewish tradition from, I don't think that it is unusual that I am leaning towards more liberal interpretations of theology.

That being said, neither congregation is exactly what I am looking for in an ideal experience. I recognize that life often times is far from ideal and that we have to make due with what we have. I fully understand that seldom do you get to have the cake and eat it too. All of those things being said, I honestly feel that perhaps being without a congregation for a while might be the best idea for me. Instead of trying to force myself (even for a short period of time) into a place that I know I would continue to feel an outsider or to have a community where in I am so far removed from the members, allowing myself time for personal growth and reflection might be for the best. There was a great deal that I came to understand about myself religously by being without a congregation in China.

As I will be traveling bright and early on Saturday morning because of class, this coming Friday I will attend neither service. Also, if I understand my schedule correctly, I will not return for almost a week. By the time that I return, I will be so tired from travel that I doubt very much that I will wish to participate in either congregations service (even in the unlikely event that I do return before the Shabbat arrives in Denmark). These two Sabbaths without congregation will give me some of the time for reflection that I need. When I come back from this time away, I hope to have a better understanding of exactly what it is I want out of my religious experience here.

33rd Day (Fifth Friday)

Last Sunday, also known as Valentine's Day or Chinese New Year was the marker of me being in Copenhagen for one month (28 days to be more specific). Now, at the just over one month mark, it is my fifth Shabat in this country. For two of them I observed with Chabad, one of them I was in a different city in Denmark far from any Shul, and last Shabat I attempted to find the Reform Shul of Copenhagenm, but had no luck in that search. I eventually decided to celebrate with these folks as part of their online congregation. As much as the experience was enjoyable, there is something in celebrating the Shabat with a more physical community that an online congregation, no matter how wonderful the individuals may be, cannot give.

So in the hours that are left to me before Shabat arrives, I am faced with trying to decide how I want to observe. The commute to and from Chabad is relatively speaking easy. While I still feel an outsider because I am still unfamiliar with many Orthodox practices and rituals, at least there are some people I have begun to know there. I would like to try to find the reform congregation again, but as I have most likely stated before, my Danish is far from good enough to ask for directions, and my attempts at finding them on the internet have (so far) been unsuccessful. While I may yet find the correct key terms to search for in the hours that remain to me before the Shabat arrives, I won't hold my breath (as the old expression goes).

Besides my concerns regarding the day of rest, I have the usual things I am trying to juggle. I am trying to get to know my roommate better, take care of class work, keep in contact with my friends in the United States and elsewhere in the world, and plan where I will be going over the comming spring break. The weather has been shifting between relatively cool (somewhere around forty degrees Fahrenheit) and freezing wih frequent snow flurries for the last couple of days. All in all, it has been a fairly quiet week, which is one thing that I am grateful for. The moments of quiet are sometimes the best ones.

Of Spring Unending

Kunming is known as the city of Eternal Spring. Parts of Yunnan Province are beneath the Tropic of Cancer. This is a photo from a Daoist Mountain, not beneath the tropic but warm and pleasant when I visited. Compare this to the unending snows and cold I see here in Denmark, it is easy to understand why I think often of the city of spring unending.

Ghosts of Fridays (Past, Present, and Future)

So yet another Friday day has arrived in this country called Denmark, and again I am wondering what I will be doing this coming Friday night. I still stand by the earlier comments I made regarding how I felt regarding Chabad. However, one cannot bring in the Sabbath by oneself. I am to go without a spiritual community for another three months just because I have some differences of practices and interpretations? Beyond that, what happens afterwards, when I come back to the states? Will I be able to find a community where I am at peace with the practices and beliefs or must I always be wandering from shul to shul?

When in China, I accepted that there would be some things that I would have to give up in terms of my religious practices. As amazing as where I was is, it is not one a community that has a large Jewish population. It was a short ride by plane (or a rather longer ride by train) to the nearest city with a minyan (and that would have been with Chabad). While I was able to keep the fast on Yom Kippur (perhaps the hardest time in recent memory), and did my best to keep what observances I could, I went to China knowing that I was not going to be practicing regularly. With that attitude, I made my peace and went around Southwest China having the time of my life.

When I came to Denmark, I knew that there would not be many options for me to practice. I knew that I would most likely have to go to Chabad. Having gone, I am grateful for the experiences that I have had so far, but I am far from certain that they are experiences that I wish to repeat (almost) every week until I return to the United States. I have heard of a Reform congregation somewhere in the greater Copenhagen area, but they have not made their information as readily accessable as Chabad's is. I will most likely try to find them, but considering my inablity to speak Danish, I know that my search will (in all probability) lead me no where and fast.

My experiences in my travels (both past and present) lead me to wondering what I will do come future Shabbats or holidays. If I do end up in the future where I think I will (back in China or somewhere else in Southeast Asia) I know with all likelihood that I will not be able to keep certain practices. Having come to some understanding of myself in terms of my religious practice, I am no longer certain if that would be a long term option.

I recognize my crises are minor and that I should have no right to rant and ramble as I do. However at least writing this gets things off my chest.

Day 9

Perhaps it just this month that has me down and out. I have never been fond of February. In trying to find time to do laundry, managing what money I have for the shortest month of the year, trying to be on top of my class work (where it is oh so easy to fall behind without intending to), getting the room organized, and other concerns, I have tuckered myself out. Yes, I wrote tuckered. I know it's a silly word, but it is one that is not used nearly enough.

There is a wonderful song about February sung by the incomprable Dar Williams. She manages to convey the feelings about this, the shortest month, better than I ever could. I heavily recommend that everyone listen to it, if at all possible. February, despite being only 28 days this year, still manages to make every one of those days last. Perhaps it is because it is the last true month of winter. I know the groundhog saw his shadow, so it will be a long winter. (Note, I do not know if the predictions of said groundhog apply to Europe, I certainly hope they do not=

I know I should not complain. Many states back home are experiencing one of the most bitter winters in recent memory. What right do I have to complain? As of yet, I have not been seriously troubled by the weather. I am still able to move as I please. Perhaps I am just letting my attitudes about this month get to me. Perhaps I am even more homesick then I realized.

Whatever the reason, February's 28 days will pass slowly. Only a quarter of a way through the month and I want it to end already. To quote someone or other "This does not augur well."