Of Friday Last

Last Friday I was part of both a physical as well as digital congregation to welcome in the Sabbath. By the laws regarding the physical community I observed the Sabbath with, I should not have been able to take part in the cyber community in welcoming in their Sabbath. However, I am not currently shomer Shabbas, therfore I felt no great guilt about participating in the online congregation. Rather, the only thing I felt was slighlty tired as I had to stay up to midnight local time for the observances to begin. This was after a week filled with late nights for one reason or another.

I hoped that such a comparison (based off of the limits of my capability) would help be find which community I felt more more comfortable with. While the physical congregation offers things that the electronic congregation cannot, the ideals of the electronic congregation are more in line with how I am coming to understand Jewish practice. With the background that I am comming to the Jewish tradition from, I don't think that it is unusual that I am leaning towards more liberal interpretations of theology.

That being said, neither congregation is exactly what I am looking for in an ideal experience. I recognize that life often times is far from ideal and that we have to make due with what we have. I fully understand that seldom do you get to have the cake and eat it too. All of those things being said, I honestly feel that perhaps being without a congregation for a while might be the best idea for me. Instead of trying to force myself (even for a short period of time) into a place that I know I would continue to feel an outsider or to have a community where in I am so far removed from the members, allowing myself time for personal growth and reflection might be for the best. There was a great deal that I came to understand about myself religously by being without a congregation in China.

As I will be traveling bright and early on Saturday morning because of class, this coming Friday I will attend neither service. Also, if I understand my schedule correctly, I will not return for almost a week. By the time that I return, I will be so tired from travel that I doubt very much that I will wish to participate in either congregations service (even in the unlikely event that I do return before the Shabbat arrives in Denmark). These two Sabbaths without congregation will give me some of the time for reflection that I need. When I come back from this time away, I hope to have a better understanding of exactly what it is I want out of my religious experience here.