Top 11 Movies

One of my passions is film. Ever since I was a small child, I enjoyed the stories they told. Perhaps this grounded my love of story telling, among other factors. Whatever the cause, I have always had favorite films. The list is something that is constantly shifting, but there are many films that remain consistent on the list. As inspired by the Nostalgia Critic , I have decided to format my list of films in the style of his, a series of eleven. This is a general list. For specific genres of films, I have slightly different lists. This is my top eleven films at this moment in time. As my taste in films changes, I may well come back and edit this list or make new ones.

11.The Host directed by Bong Joon-ho, released 2006. A Korean monster movie that incorporates elements of horror, drama, and comedy. My love for horror movies aside, the performances in this film are incredible and the way the director shows the monster and its impact are among my favorites. Other factors that give it a place of honor on my list are the political commentary (critical of both the United States and South Korea), and the scenes focused on the main family. It shows what a normal family can do when forced into extra-ordinary circumstances.

10.Alien directed by Ridley Scott, released 1979. As stated on a special on Bravo this is a haunted house movie in space. You can't escape what is hunting you, no matter how much you might want to. Despite being set in the far future, the environment is incredibly realistic, and the slight sense of claustrophobia that the film brings about, is all to real. Furthermore, the reaction to the chest-buster in the film is nothing short of priceless.

9.El Laberinto del Fauno directed by Guillermo del Toro, released 2006. Something of a dark fairy tale for adults. The fantastic elements are well incorporated with the historical backdrop of the Spanish Civil War. The creatures as performed by Doug Jones are... lacking a better descriptive term, were magical. At the end of the film, we are not sure exactly what is real or what was imagined. Perhaps the combination of reality and fantasy is what made the film as poignant and as touching as it was.

8.Psycho directed by Alfred Hitchcock, released 1960. A classic suspense thriller. The twist at the end of the film is also justifiably famous. Also, the score is rather justifiably famous. There isn't much to say about Psycho personally that most likely hasn't been said already by persons much more eloquent then myself. All I can say is that one doesn't get a much better first exposure to Hitchcock than this film. While all of his films are brilliant, this film will always for me, be among his best.

7. Mar Adentro directed by Alejandro Amenábar, released 2004. This film beautifully deals with some of the most complex issues of our days. End of life and euthanasia are never easy subjects to confront, and this film shows both sides of the 'debate' surrounding ending of life decisions. The characters are brilliantly acted, and some scenes do make me cry, and I willingly and freely admit that by the end of the film I was choked up. Not much more that I can say about this film rather than if you have a chance to see it, do as soon as possible.

6Princess Mononoke directed by Hayao Miyazaki, released 1997. Honestly, this film is tied with another of Miyazaki's pieces, Spirited Away. While the quality of animation in Spirited Away might be higher, the story is what drives Princess Mononoke onto the list. The conflict between humanity and nature is represented beautifully. Also, the mythology in Princess Mononoke is incredibly rich, and with a life time love of mythology, perhaps I was bound to be more attracted to it. Also, while both films have complex characters, I find that the interactions in Princess Mononoke are more fulfilling.

5.Misery directed by Rob Reiner, released 1990. An adaptation of a Steven King novel of the same name, what makes this such a strong film for me are the performances. Kathy Bates and James Caan play brilliantly off of each other, and the confined space that James Caan very much becomes a character in the movie itself. Another strong point in the film's favor is that compared other of King's work, the villain is completely human. Something about that makes the film more real, and thus the character more terrifying. I can only shudder at the thought of meeting a person like Annie Wilkes in the real world, and the truly frightening thought is that there are people like her out there in the world.

4.Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf directed by Mike Nichols, released 1966. A completely character driven piece. It is one of the closest adaptations of any stage production. The interactions between Burton and Taylor in this film are completely enthralling. The ending of the film is one of the most powerful moments captured on film. Drawn into the world of the four characters, when the final moment arrives the viewer comes to the same powerful psychological moments as the characters.

3.To Live directed by Zhang Yimou, released 1994. The drama of China in transition from Post World War II through the aftermath of the Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution. We feel deeply for the family, rejoice with them and mourn with them. We see just what one family does to survive in extra-ordinary circumstances, and we see that there are no things such as heroes in villains, rather there are only people who are forced into places through the choices that they make. As a watcher of film, I could not be be connected to all of the triumphs and failings of this fictional family, and know that while this is a fictionalized account, it reflects many things that could have or might have happened to countless individuals.

2.Rashomon directed by Akira Kurosawa, released 1950. A classic for a reason. The examination of a single event from multiple perspectives has been done both before and since, but the way that Kurosawa tackles it is simply brilliant. We learn much about the characters by the way that they present their story, and we are left questioning what is really "true" at the end of the film. The way that Kurosawa frames the ending of such a film, while hopeful, is also ambiguous. Also, for the time it was made, some of the shots were nothing short of masterful. This film perfectly demonstrates why Kurosawa was dubbed Kurosawa-sensei.

1.The Seventh Seal directed by Ingmar Bergman, released 1957. The first time I was exposed to this film, I was too young to understand it. When I came back to the film later on, I was shocked and awed by it. It deals in with fear, Doubt, life, and of course Death. The scenes with Death playing chess are MUCH parodied, but never truly equaled. Although not historically accurate, the story is moving, the shots are brilliant, and the characters are complex/well acted.

Tisha B'av

From Monday sundown until last night's nightfall was one of the major fast days in Judaism. This was my second time observing the Tisha B'av, and unlike last year (at Middlebury) I was on my own in the observation of the fast. Granted, when I was at Middlebury, there were not many who chose to attend services (such as they were) at Middlebury last year. There are any number of possible reasons why there were so few attendants, I am not going to analyze all of them. What I will say though is even with few attendants, the knowledge that there were others who would be observing the fast was a form of a comfort. Rationally, I know I couldn't have been the only person in Boston fasting yesterday, but it certainly felt like it. As with previous fasts, I found the last few hours (the last hour in particular) the hardest.

Since my first observation of Tisha B'av roughly one year ago, I have not re-read Eikha, The Book of Lamentations. Yesterday, as I was rediscovering the text, I was struck by the almost poetic quality in the words. At times, it almost reminded me of a dirge. There were verses from Eikha that even now I am reflecting on. Two of these are "'For these things I weep; mine eye, mine eye runneth down with water; because the comforter is far from me, even he that should refresh my soul; my children are desolate, because the enemy hath prevailed'" (Lam 1:16) and "Mine eye runneth down with rivers of water, for the breach of the daughter of my people" (Lam: 3:48) (source for copy of Lamentations used may be found here ). In a book filled with strong imagery, these two passages just resonate with me. For the life of me, I cannot say why.

Since breaking my fast last night, I have done a little reading into modern opinions of Tisha B'av. I have found that there are some who argue for a discontinuation of the observance of such a holiday. While I see some of the logic in what these individuals argue, I personally will continue to keep the fast. What began as a mourning of the destruction of the Second Temple has become for many a mourning of the other calamities suffered by the Jewish people. It is in the context of the mourning of maladies that I choose to keep Tisha B'av. Although Israel has been restored, it is not at peace. Perhaps as my study continues I will arrive at a different conclusion about Tisha B'av. All I can say for the moment though is that keeping the fast this year, despite the difficulty associated with it, felt right.

Lecture Number 2

With lecture number 3 almost upon us (and that being the one I will be unable to attend because of Tisha B'av) I find myself scrambling to write a summary of the second lecture in the series. Part of the reason has been related towards my tendencies towards procrastination. Another part of the reason is I am trying to figure out how to best summarize the second lecture. The difficulty with this particular summarization is that I did not pay as much attention to the second lecture as I did the first. I know that is a horrible thing to have done, but I do willingly and freely admit that my focus is no where near perfect.

Part of the reason that I tuned out during the second lecture was the language used during it. As I have mentioned earlier, I have a strange fascination with language. In this particular case, the word choice of the speaker was what tuned me out. The speaker kept on using words like 'Destiny' and 'Path.' Such words remind me of the content of the sermons I listened to when I was a child. A side effect of me being reminded of my childhood sermons was to react in the same manner I did as a child, that is to say, I tuned him out.

While the personal stories of the speaker were interesting, the content of the lecture was much less informative than the first. Another thing that prevented me from being able to connect to this speaker as much as I connected with the first was due to the constant re-enforcement of the idea of taking a leap of faith. I understand and admire the concept of taking a leap of faith. That said, I think that this speaker was incredibly lucky. For many, leaps of faith often times are not rewarded. If the speaker had acknowledged that taking a leap of faith can be not rewarded, I might have reacted to his presentation better. As it was, the speech left me luke warm at best.

Birthdays

Well my birthday has come around. I am now one year older, but am I any wiser? That's up for debate. I have spent many birthdays away from close family and friends, so spending this last birthday in the company of some truly wonderful people was something that I sorely needed. Not to say that birthdays in the past with some friends were not good, but having two days where I was able to completely relax and not have to worry about anything was an experience that I have not had for a while. My last three birthdays have either been out of the country or in intensive language programs, so spending a day where English was the dominant language and I was surrounded by familiar faces was more than restful enough.

So what did I do that made my birthday so restful? Nothing really, and there was nothing wrong with that. I just spent time with a good friend of mine and was introduced to friends of hers that I got along with wonderfully. I also met someone who is a day younger than myself and was born in the same hospital that I was (how's that for a coincidence?) We went to movies, watched a few television programs, undertook new craft projects, hung out, and generally just had a good time. Compared the past three birthdays where I was either taking a test, studying to take a test, or scrambling down a steep hillside to go learn metal smithing, I think the order of the day was rest.

Although my birthday weekend is over, I have one last gift to myself that I am going to give. This coming weekend I am going down to Washington D.C. to visit a good friend of mine from China. There will be much nostalgia, good food, and dancing. It has been over four years since I was last in Washington D.C. and the two nights I have there will not be nearly enough time to do everything that D.C. has to offer. That all said, I am very grateful for the two nights that I will have and I know that I will enjoy the company of the awesome people.

A Rest

Well, one of my long standing plans for the summer is not going to come to fruition. According to the Blogathon website, the 2010 Blogathon will not be occurring this year. I have mixed emotions about this. On the one hand I am a little disappointed. I was looking forward to the attempt to stay up for 24 hours. I was also looking forward to raising awareness for a cause about which I am genuinely interested. Furthermore, I was hoping to meet some amazing people who my friends that have participated in the Blogathon have told me about.

On the other hand, I am just a little relieved. I won't have to beg around to find sponsors. Another positive is that I will actually be able to rest, compose myself. A third plus is also looking forward to not staying up for 24 hours. I was also worried that I wouldn't mesh/connect with the amazing people about whom I have been told so much. If you are going to be pulling a 24 hour shift, you want to know the people that you do it with. Granted the pulling of a 24 hour shift can be a bonding experience, but it's not exactly the first thing that comes to mind when it comes to group bonding.

Well, I have talked long enough about the Blogathon. On the note of rest, I would like to announce that the rest I have taken from regular updating of this blog has been well enjoyed. I have come to reconnect to parts of Boston, and also to discover new parts of the city in which I spent my youth. Boston has been, so far at least, a positive experience. I enjoy the company I intern with and the people there are genuinely friendly. I hope that I can keep contact with them in the future, although I am among the worst email correspondents among my circle of friends.

That all said, I hope that everyone out there is having a good day, and is enjoying their summer (even if there are incredible heat waves sweeping almost everywhere it seems).

Free Concert

One of the many advantages of interning at a Radio Station is you get to hear about all sorts of upcoming shows, and on occasion you get to hear bands you have not been previously exposed to. Yesterday was such a day for me. Of what I heard of the band I liked, and when I heard free show at Government Center that night, I knew how I was going to spend my night. When I came back from the concert, my ears were ringing and my voice was slightly shot. All in all, I would call it a very good show. Not only did I hear the band that came to the radio station, I also caught the ending half of another band's set.

Unlike some of my friends, music is not my life. It is only recently that the number of concerts I have been to has begun to increase. This may be because I am now getting more into music. It might also be because most of the clubs that have shows I wanted to go to in San Diego were 21 and up and for most of my 21st year, I was not in San Diego. I still remember when I was 17 and I heard of an artist that I was a fan of coming to San Diego. When I found out the venue was 21 and up, I was just slightly disappointed.

Power Networking

Last Tuesday, June 22nd, my fellow program participants and I listened to a lecture from a famous 'power networker'. It was part speech, part interactive. The interactive activity was the famous ball of yarn (in our specific case it was a ball of ribbon) exercise. For those of you unfamiliar with the exercise, this is when one person begins by stating personal facts, and then another person stands when they share a personal fact with the person speaking. The person speaking then throws a ball of yarn/ribbon/string to the person who has stood. Then that person (the one who stood up) begins to state personal facts about themselves until someone else stands up. The process repeats until all in the room are standing and are holding a piece of yarn/string/ribbon. Some of the things this speaker said were things I had heard before in high school during the college admissions process. Other parts of the talk were familiar, but phrased in new ways. There were other things which she (the speaker) said that I was unfamiliar with. For example, according to her a first impression is made in seven seconds or less and it takes over two hours to undo a negative first impression. From my personal experiences, that is something I am willing to believe.

One of the things this speaker said that I am having an issue with is that one's network is equal to one's net-worth. While the people that one surrounds oneself with can be influential, a part of that bucks against my 'one can pull oneself up by one's own boot strings' mentality. I know that the myth of the self made or truly self sufficient person is just that, a myth. However, it is one of those myths that I have held onto. Why am I so attached to this myth in particular? I'm not sure I can say. I think its just one of the things that I heard so much as a child. While I know that the myth is often times exaggerated and has little to no 'real' place in the history books, that sense of the self made or self-sufficient individual is at heart one of the core American myths. Acknowledging that a myth is a myth is the first part of separating oneself from it, but the myth that one can be truly self sufficient is (for me at least) still an interesting concept.

Something the speaker said that I do agree with is that one should be cautious with one puts out on the internet. Even with the best firewalls and protections, it is becoming easier and easier to find people. Fortunately, when I google myself I am still very much a non-entity. While that is one measure of privacy, I know that the sort of search I do for myself is nothing compared to what potential employers might look for. What we put out on the internet can and often does have a way of finding its way back to us. Part of why I have been as slow updating this blog as I have been is that I often debate for long times after I finish writing potential posts before I decide whether or not to press the 'publish post' icon. Most of the time, I decide not to and scrap a post. I know I have said somethings here and elsewhere on the internet that may well find there way back to me some day. However, all the things I have said (at least on this blog) are things I am willing to stand behind. That all said, maybe I'll ask one of my friends who is more technology literate than I am to help find a way to make me less visible in the future.

Of Smoke Detectors

Well last night was the first night in the building I will be spending the next seven weeks in. My suite mates seem like a nice group and I am enthused by the location. All things considered, it looks like it is going to be a wonderful summer. When I meet the people that I will be interning for, I will comment on them as well. However, I am relearning a few things about being in a city that I had forgotten. While I have lived in both Copenhagen and Kunming, they are slightly different from American cities in that there are times when those cities seemed still. American cities, at least certain parts of them, never truly sleep.

Another thing I am having to relearn is the joy of smoke detectors. Last night, the smoke detector in the suite went off three times. The shrill noise woke me up each of the three times. Almost as bad as the shrill noise itself was the ringing in my ears afterwards. Needless to say, I did not have the most restful night. I understand the necessity of smoke detectors and other such devices, and I am grateful that the one for this building works. That all said, I think that anyone who has had multiple 'false alarms' during the night will be sympathetic when I say I wish that this will not become a nightly occurrence. Having a working smoke detector is a wonderful/important thing, having an overly sensitive one such as I do (as to the best of my knowledge none of my suite mates were smoking or doing anything that would cause a smoke detector to go off)... well that can certainly color your first impressions of a place.

Fortunately, my internship does not begin until Tuesday, so I have an opportunity to catch up on my sleep. I know that I am lucky to have such minor problems and that the smoke alarm was a false one all three times. That being said, if the smoke detector goes off again tonight, I will take the appropriate steps. According to one of the RAs (resident assistants) in the building that I spoke with last night (the second time the smoke detector went off) the activation of smoke detectors in this building has not been an infrequent happening. Even semi-regular false alarms would certainly color my summer experience. Now, I can only wait and see. In the meantime however, I think I am going to go eat breakfast.

Until Again!

Travel Bug

It got to me early, the travel bug. It was from one of my first trips that I got mono (an experience that I do not remember as I was about three years old). For as long as I can remember, traveling has been a part of my life as for most of my life my kin have been split between the two coasts of the United States. International travel also began when I was young as I remember traveling to Ireland with my grandparents. With as much travel as I have done, it is hard for me to imagine a sedentary existence for myself.

It seems like I will always be moving, even when I am back stateside. I look for excuses to go and take small road-trips to almost anywhere just so I can get out for a short period of time. Denmark and China were both excellent for that as it was easy to get to somewhere radically different with relative ease. True, China was less expensive in terms of its transport, but both countries were very travel friendly. I enjoyed my travels in both places, and if I had this academic year to do again, I would have traveled more. Hindsight though, as they say, is twenty-twenty.

All things considered, the travel bug is not the worst thing in the world to have. It gets me out to meet new people, see new things, eat new things, and try things that I normally wouldn't do. Traveling for me is part of how I grow. That said, there is a downside of the travel bug. It is hard to keep in contact with loved ones half-way around the world. While technologies such as the internet have made the distance smaller, the internet is far from omni-present everywhere I have gone. In fact, in some of the places I have been, there was no internet access.

My travels have put strains on my relationships with friends and family members. Finding a time that is convenient for both of us to talk is a juggling act, and when that conversation comes, it often times has to be cut short for any number of reasons. The travel bug can also place limits on a relationship, no matter its nature. It's hard to be close with someone who is half a world away. The more I travel, the more I come to accept that my travel bug will place limits on some of the relationships I form. However, if someone can't accept the travel bug as part of me, is that a person that is sustaining a long term contact with?

So I leave everyone out there with a question this week: what is something about yourself that you like that has come to place a bit of a limit on your relationships with other in your life? Drop a line, let me know. I know I can't be alone in this.

Denmark in Total

I have now had enough time for me to think over the great nation of Denmark. There are things about Denmark that I have come to miss, and may realize myself missing. Like when I returned from China, there is a sort of reverse culture shock in progress. Granted, Denmark was closer to the U.S.A. in many cultural respects, but there are still somethings I find odd. For example, even with taxes, things are slightly cheaper here. Also, service people are friendly and sociable. I'm not saying that the Danish service persons were rude, they were just reserved.

I grew much as a person from being in Denmark. I am now slightly more comfortable in my own skin. I am more mature as a person then I was when I entered. The experience reminds me of a Navajo expression that roughly translated into English means, as we grow in maturity we will walk in beauty and harmony. I don't remember the Navajo anymore. I wish I did.

So I am glad to be home. I wish everyone the best. Denmark was Denmark, but it was not a place I could build a home.

Stateside

For all concerned, I am now back stateside and in one piece. I am doing well even factoring in the jet lag. A more thorough post detailing what I thought of Denmark and my time there will be up most likely later this week. Right now though, my top priority is to stay awake and somewhat functioning.

All my best to everyone out there.

Packing Day

Well it has come at long last, a day I have been thinking about almost since I have arrived in Denmark. Today is the day when I back up my room (or at least most of it) and start to get ready to come home. How do I feel now that the long awaited day has finally arrived? While I have never felt as much at home in Denmark as I did in China, I will admit that there a few things I am sad to leave behind. There have been some good moments from my time here, and on the whole, I had a positive experience. Granted, it is true that if I had things to do over, they would have been done differently. However, that's all of life, and the most important thing is that we learn from out mistakes.

So what will I miss of Denmark? Well, the excellent public transportation system in/around Copenhagen is something that I will miss. I have genuinely enjoyed riding the trains and the buses. While at times slightly crowded (especially during the morning rush), the rides to and from where I attended classes were at times relaxing and gave me time to listen to music, attempt to study, attempt to write, or just watch the world go by. The trains and buses in and around Copenhagen were also (almost always) very punctual. Provided you knew the train schedule, you could set your watch by it. The longest I ever waited for a train was around sixteen minutes, and that was on a day when the trains would run every twenty minutes compared to every ten.

Another one of the small things I will miss is the excellent quality of the baked goods. The Danishes (or as they are known here wienerbrød) are nothing like any of those I have found stateside. Granted, I am not the biggest fan of Danishes in the state, I might just have to look around to see if I can find any like those here in Denmark. While originally created by Austrian bakers (as can be seen in a literal translation of the Danish name), it has been in Denmark that these creations have been perfected. Almost every bakery in Copenhagen sells them, and when they are good, they are toe-curling good. Not always the healthiest choice around, they are certainly delicious and I have eaten my fair share of them.

An unexpected thing that I will miss about Denmark is just how easily I am mistaken for a Dane. Apparently when I do speak Danish, I sound rather like a Dane. This has led those with whom I speak Danish to have the mistaken assumption that my command of their language is greater than the 5 or 6 key phrases that I have well memorized. Although I speak more Chinese and have (in my personal opinion) a better accent in it, I will never be mistaken for a native of China. Part of that might be due to my ethnicity, part of it may be because I have only studied Chinese for two and one-half years, and thus still have problems with the language. Whatever the reason, it has been rather interesting to be mistaken for a local.

There are other things I will find myself missing. However, during my orientation at the beginning of the semester, one of the speakers said some of us might get into the annoying habit of making references to our time in Denmark. Having travelled enough previously, I know enough not to insert references to a journey taken unless asked to do so. The only reason why I will be telling such stories during the Blogathon is because of just how many of them I have. Besides, for all I learned and did in Denmark/Europe, I feel I learned and did more that I am truly proud of in China. I know that China/Asia will be a part of my life as I continue to grow. For everything that I have come to enjoy here, I know that were I to come again, it would not be to build a home.

For Whom the Blog is Written

Well, after days of checking my email more than was probably necessary, I heard back from the organization that I will be blogging for come Blogathon 2010. All funds raised will be going to Keshet , a LGBTQ organization for Jews in the greater Boston area. When I first thought about the Blogathon back in mid-April, I had no idea who I should blog for or how I should start looking. It took a while for me to narrow the list down. One of the rules of the Blogathon is that no blogger may blog for multiple charities, and I think that's a pretty good rule. Posts every half hour for one organization is an overwhelming prospect. Doubling the number of posts so one may raise funds for two organizations would require mental stamina that I suspect few are capable of.

I eventually decided on Keshet for many reasons. Primarily, I wanted to help a segment of the Jewish community in anyway I could. Ideally, I wanted the organization to be either in San Diego (my hometown) or Boston (where I will be spending the summer and where I lived for the first half of my life). I have also been a long time believe in the fight for marriage equality. Although my parents and I have several key differences of opinion, one of the values they raised me with was a sense of fair play. It does not seem 'right' to me to have what has become predominantly secular institution governed by religious ideals, especially in a country where one of the founders and third president strongly espoused an idea of 'a wall of separation between church and state.' While I am aware of certain passages in Torah that go against homosexuality, there are also many other passages that instruct parents to stone disobedient children (Deuteronomy 18: 18-21), that a woman should be a virgin on her wedding night or risk severe punishment (Deuteronomy 23: 18), and numerous dietary laws (Leviticus, Deuteronomy, and Exodus). While I know that there are many Jews who choose to follow the dietary laws, I am unaware of any contemporary community that follows Deuteronomy 18:18-21. There will be a post at a later date about how I am coming to understand the Torah and the Jewish experience. This is not the time nor place for such a post. As Keshet is Boston based, serves the Jewish Community, and is involved in the fight for marriage equality, it seems like it hit the triple jackpot.

Now for the content of the blog on the 'day of blogs' itself. All posts (ideally) will be related my experiences from traveling. There will most likely be a post when I have been up for multiple hours where I seem out of it or unable to form coherent sentences. This should be nothing new or exciting to readers of this blog. There will be many stories, some humorous, some sad, some where I came out saying "I never want to do anything like that ever again!" and still others where I hoped my experience would never end. All in all, it would be a pretty fun ride. I hope that you will join me for at least part of the experience.

Blogathon 2010

For the past few summers, a group of close personal friends in the greater Boston area have participated in something they have lovingly dubbed "The Day of Blogs." Officially, it is known as Blogathon . Over a single 24 hour period, a blogger will update their blog continously every half hour. The purpose of such a mental marathon is to raise funds for an organization that the blogger supports. Sponsors will either give a flat contribution or an amount for each post. In the past, organizations my friends have blogged for have included Planned Parenthood, Amnesty International, a women's center in the greater Boston area, and others that I cannot remember at the moment. This year, as I will actually be in Boston over the summer, I hope to be a participant in the Blogathon.

So what will I be posting about for that day? In my life, I have been fortunate enough to travel to many and diverse places such as China, Denmark, Ecuador, France, India, Italy, Korea (South), New Zealand, Spain, and Tanzania. So my theme on the Day of Blogs will be the 48 Memories from Travel. Not the most original theme ever, however it is something that I will be something that I feel I will able to write about easily. I have only recently emailed the organization I hope to blog for, but as of yet, I haven't heard back. Hopefully, by the end of the weekend I will know and I will be able to share all of the appropriate information.

As I get closer to the actual day (July 25 beginning at 9:00 Eastern Daylight Time), there will be more information. I just wanted to put the word out there and warn anyone reading that there will be madness. Look forward to updating soon with all of the necessary information about who I will blogging for, how I can be supported in this, and what more my entries on the day itself may deal with.

Until then, all the best.

Denmark and Anti-Semitism

I realize I might be making a mountain out of a molehill, however this is an image that needs to be seen. While I have not ever felt directly threatened for believing as I chose to believe in Copenhagen, nor do I think that Denmark is a country with a lot of anti-Semitic individuals or sentiment. However, as I was waiting for a train earlier today, I saw the drawing on a sign. I know it was done sometime yesterday as I took a train from the same stop yesterday and the drawing was not there when I left. I don't know who did it or why. For all I know it could be a really bad practical joke. If it is, it is not funny.

Something I learned early in life is that there is always a reason for a person to hate you. It can be anything: your biological sex, your gender performance, your sexual orientation, your creed, your ethnicity, your nationality, literally anything. Individuals who are/were universally loved are few and far between. I have come to accept that there are those who are going to hate me if I give them reason to, and those who are going to hate me with no reason. While I accept that being hated is part of life, I do what I can to minimize the reasons for personal hatred. Some might call this cowardice. I call it appropriate precautions.

The point I am trying to make is that while being hated or disliked makes me feel uncomfortable, I have grown used to a certain level of discomfort. The image which I have posted makes me feel more uncomfortable then I have felt in a long time.

Copenhagen in April

This city is a different animal in the early spring. It's mood is erratic and the whether never settled. This past weekend there was sunshine and pleasant breezes. Today, rain shower are predicted (as they are for tomorrow). If the forecasts are to be believed, the rains will end on Thursday, and I think I will spend that day in the Tivoli gardens. This comming weekend is some sort of holiday, however it is far too late to find travel at reasonable prices. Besides, with all the activity in Iceland, I don't want to be standed on ground somewhere if it starts all over again. Besides, there is more to Denmarke than Copenhagen.

On Friday, the holiday, I think I will take a day of rest. By that point, I should have most of my work done (save for studying for the one in class final that I have). If it is open, I might spend the day in the National Library (somewhere that has become one of my favorite places to visit). Otherwise, I think I will just sit back, relax, and enjoy the day to the best of my ability. On Saturday, I will most likely head over to Odense to visit the Hans Christian Anderson house. There are just some things that one has to do while one is in Denmark.

I will be going to Tivoli, I just do not know when that will be. All I know is I should go, after all seeing the park that inspired Disneyland is always worth a visit.

That's all for this week. I'll be back with reviews of Tivoli and H.C.A's house.

Best

Birthdays, Viking Ships, and Papers! Oh My!

It was something of a rather busy weekend here in Denmark. Last Friday (April 16) was the Queen's birthday. As this may be my only time in a country that has a monarchy for that monarch's birthday, I decided to go. As it was the 70th birthday of Her Royal Highness, the crowd was something massive. Personally, it felt as if all the city had gone to see the monarch, but that is most likely an over-estimate of the number of persons involved. However, I did manage to get a good position in her "parade" route and saw her and her husband in their carriage as they went from the palace to city hall. The pagentry (mounted guards and band, horsedrawn carriage with monarch, people waving small Danish flags, etc) was all very fun. One of the things that struck me was just how quiet the crowd was, however that shouldn't be really all that shocked. A sort of quiet dignity (with the exception of football [American name soccer] matches) seems to be something of a defining characteristic of many of the Danes I have come to know.

Saturday 17 April was my college's housing lottery, but I didn't have time to worry about that. Rather, I was too busy being shipped all over the island of Zealand for my course in Nordic Mythology. We went to a museum dedicated to Viking Ships, saw the site of a ship burial (set in stone), visited the likely hall of King Hrothgar, and went to a military barracks that was likely key in the conversion to Christianity. Before any of these sites could be visited though, we had to wait for just under an hour and a half after our scheduled departure time for our bus to show up (some sort of communication error). All in all, it was a long day, and I was glad to get back to the apartment in the evening and get about the making of dinner. While all of the sites were individually rather interesting and historic, there was no single event that made my jaw drop. True, it was the first time that I was able to sample mead (in a reconstruction of a Viking age house), and that was a rather enjoyable experience. Even with that though, there was no single moment that made me say "wow."

Yesterday (Sunday 18 April) was spent in a flurry of writing. Since coming back from my travels, I haven't been as on top of my game when it comes to my classes as I like to be. There are a number of possible factors leading to this slump, I won't bother to go through all of them. With the end of the semester so close in sight now, it is hard to keep as focused as I like to be. However, I know that I have been able to buckle down before, so there is no reason that I should not be able to do so again. Besides, I doubt that I am the only student at this time of year (the full bloom of spring) that has trouble focusing. I am willing to go as far as to say I think that come May, there will be many (for one reason or other) that will have trouble being as productive as they were in the winter months, but that is pure personal conjecture.

P.S. Copenhagen has not seen a rain of ashes from the volcano in Iceland. I do not know to what extent travel by air into and out of Denmark has been effected. It is not that I am not interested, it is just that most news about the volcanic activity and how that is effecting travel seems to be focused more on the United Kingdom and other parts of the European continent. As soon as something specific to the volcano and Denmark emerges, I will be more than happy to post a link on this blog.

One Month to Go

It has been a very long time since my last post. In that time, I have been to Paris to visit with a friend, spent Easter Sunday wrapped in blankets battling a head cold, been to the north of England where EPIC times were had, lost a transport pass, returned to Copenhagen, and have had to deal with the onslaught of papers and projects as my semester abroad comes down to its final month (as of today 31 days until home!) I'm rather busy, but in the best way possible. I like having all of these things to do, it gives me a feeling of purpose. More than that, it helps me stay focued. In addition to the major events that I touched on in the list above, there have been several daily victories and defeats, but I have taken them in stride and adapted as the situation presents itself.

So it is down to the wire now and all the time I thought I had is flying out of the window. While there is a certain amount of insanity that I have to deal with (and part of it self induced) I have to say I do enjoy the insanity. The challenge of dealing with all of these things is something that can (at times) be exciting. It is far from my favorite feeling in the world, but when everything is finally pulled together, there is a certain feeling of satisfaction that comes with it. In the aftermath of finishing something, I generally feel a small amount of satisfaction.

With only one month in Copenhagen, you might ask if my opinion on this city has changed some or if I will be sad to leave. Now that I can actually see the sky and the sun no longer sets before my last classes, I am seeing a very different city than the one that I first arrived to. Still, Copenhagen to me is not China. The challenges of China were more different (and perhaps in some senses more difficult) than those I have faced here in Denmark. Because of the different nature of the challenges, I grew in different ways as a person. The me I am in Copenhagen is only possible because of what I went through while I was in China. Had I come here without the lens that China has given me, I am not sure what I would think.

Over all though, with only a month left here, I will not deny that I am once again craving to see the California cost line, be with my family, and be in an environment where I am familiar with the small cultural indicators. There are some things I have certainly grown to appreciate about Denmark, and while I have enjoyed some of the moments here, I would be lying if I wrote that I am already planning a trip back here. On the otherhand, there is no lie when I write that there is a very good chance that fourteen months from now, I will be on a plane to China to teach English (hopefully for a year or two).

Two Very Different Museums

Well today I did make the decision. After eating breakfast, I made the trek to the Anne Frank House. I got there maybe 15-20 minutes before opening and got in the queue that was already wrapped around a curb. In the biting winds I waited and meditated, listening as other people (be they couples or groups) chatted around me. Once inside, with as many people as there were, I could not help but feel slightly claustrophobic. However I moved through the museum, looking at where the Frank family hid for many years, and during that time I only spoke twice. Both of those times, it was to utter a prayer.

Being in that space, even for an hour, was something of an overpowering experience. I could only imagine what it would have been like to live in that space for years. After an hour, part of me was already yearning to be free, to get out. That might have more to do with my mild claustrophobia than anything else though. Listening to the voices of the Franks (there was a recording of Otto Frank) as well as those who knew them could lead one to cry. It led me to great silence and reflection. What I reflected on, I'm still grappling with. There will be a post later dealing with those reflections.

Following that visit, I decided to make the trek to Our Lord in The Attic. It is a museum that (as I found out) is open during its renovations. It was an underground Catholic Church during the time when Catholicism was outlawed in the Netherlands. Even during the renovations, there were many parts of the museum that were open and much that one could see. It was rather more filled than the Frank house (which is to be expected) and it was certainly a radical step away from what I saw in the Frank house (in terms of its content).

I went to two radically different museums. By the time I emerged from the second, I decided that I did not want to pay for a taxi nor make the trek to a third (that third would have been the Van Gogh museum). I shall have to return to Amsterdam one day just to see that space. However I think I have made good use of my time here so far.

Amsterdam

I somehow managed to make my way to Amsterdam. I had to run through Heathrow yesterday to make my connecting flight (and will have to do so again based off of all my connecting times in my itinerary). There was a brief, horrible moment where I thought that I lost my ATM card (only to find it in the pocket of the wallet that I always leave it in). So I am on the ground, safe, sound, and not in any physical pain. It's just going to take time to get used to all of the (for me) surreal life of this place. It is indeed odd to see a church surrounded by windows where women are for sale. I guess it is something that I could have expected, however it is not something that I can see myself getting used to.

Amsterdam and Copenhagen are very similar in some aspects. They are both on the small side for capital cities of a country. Both have a very relaxed idea about when most stores open (not until nearly 10 in the morning for most places) but a very good idea about when they close (around 10:00 to 11:00 at night). I am sure that there are of course exceptions. I know that there are in Copenhagen, but finding them is by no means an easy task. Not that it really matters anyway. I've been here one night already, and I have two more to go.

So what will I do with my remaining two days in Amsterdam? Today I am going to go on at least one walking tour of the city. Tomorrow, I will most probably make a pilgrimage to the Anne Frank House or the Van Gogh Museum. Both would be incredible experiences, but for very different reasons. There is a place called the Amsterdam Dungeon that sounds interesting, but I'm not sure if it is some place I want to go. I'll make up my mind at some point tomorrow. Until then, I will enjoy my day today and see where we are taken.

Spring Break

Well spring has finally come to Denmark. With the equinox past us, the sun is finally returning to the sky and the weather is beginning to get warmer. While I still have a jacket, it is now more for the unexpected rain showers which I am told this city is known for. This means that I am past the halfway point of my time here in Europe. Hard to believe how the time has gone, especially considering how it dragged during my first weeks here.

I will be the first to admit that I had misgivings about coming to Denmark. In retrospect, I should have listened to my gut and gone back to Ohio. However hindsight, as "they" say, is 20-20. I have done my best to deal with the situation, and as the days have gotten longer, I have found myself wishing for home a little less. The wish for home still remains though. While I did wish for home while I was in China, there were days where I was actually able to forget about home. During my last days in Beijing and Kunming, and although I was excited, there was part of me that was very sad to be leaving China.

I know that the future is impossible to see, but the only thoughts I have about May 15 (now just 50 days away!) is the sensation of excitement. My emotions well might change by the time 15 May comes, but at the moment I have a very hard time seeing that happening. Then again, during the mid period of China (a mark I have just passed in Denmark) was when my cravings for 'home' were the strongest. In short, who knows? I know I don't.

Spring break will be spent traveling to Amseterdam, Paris, and Manchester. On Tuesday I will leave for my nine nights away. The day before I come back, I will be sent my housing lottery number (something about which I am nervous). Now if only courses for next semester could or would be posted, I would greatly appreciate that...

Ice Cream Weather (At Long Last)

With temperatures beginning to get above fifty degrees Fahrenheit, Ice Cream has begun to emerge in Copenhagen. Having always had a bit of a sweet tooth, I can officially say that things are finally (after two months) beginning to look up.

Groceries

At long last, a posting not related to my angst or confusion over matters spiritual. This is related to the joys of grocery shopping. I'm sure we've all done it. I was just thinking about the specifics of it in light of what I buy and where I go in Denmark. Within walking distance of the apartment, there are not one, not two, but three separate grocery chains. Convenient? Considering one of the stores is literally right across the street from my apartment, I would say so.

Most of the time, unless I need something highly specific, I am quite content to go across the street to get whatever it is I need. True, there is another store of the same chain within a ten minute walk that has slightly lower prices, but most of the time (at least for me) convenience beats out price. When the weather gets slightly nicer, I think I might make the ten minute walk to the larger and slightly cheaper grocery store, but as long as the temperature remains below 50 degrees Fahrenheit, I don't think I'll be making that particular trek much.

After talking with my mother, a few of my cousins, and friends of mine who have graduated and now live in situations in which the dining hall is no longer an option or choose not to partake in their university meal plan, I find what I am spending on groceries for a week slightly less than some and slightly more than others. Knowing just how pricey everything is here in Denmark, I was prepared to be paying out of my nose for groceries. However Produce is (remarkably) roughly equivalent to what I would pay in the United States. Maybe it is a little more expensive, but not so much so that I cry every time I buy an apple. I guess managing the budget I do have for groceries is one more thing that I have to learn about as I continue to mature and move on with my life.

So the weather continues to be mostly cold and gray. The daylight grows longer, but I still see little of the sun. I have booked my travel back home. All things considered, things continue.

Peace.

Definitions

There are still many terms I am defining for myself when it comes to my religious identity. How do I explain my practices/beliefs/ideas to those both inside and outside of the religious community that I am to join? How do I explain these things to myself? Where do I draw the line between what I expect of myself and what others expect of me? Numerous times I have had to remind myself "this is what works for them, but what works for them may well not work for me." Still, each time I have a deeper conversations with anyone about religion or belief, I come back to questioning.

I have always questioned. Ever since I can first remember, I have been fond of asking questions. I have been fond of making other people define things and then taking their definitions and turning them to my own ends. It's not something one should be proud of. However, if I can call something, if I know how to describe how something functions, I feel much better about myself and where I stand. I know I should respect a lack of a definition and not push for one, but I sometimes just can't help myself.

This entry is to serve as a reminder to myself to stop pushing others in defining themselves. There are many identities that we can cling to. I am many other things besides the religious identity that I will assume upon fully converting. In time, I might go to the baal teshuva movements. However, perhaps I should try to stop trying to force myself into the boxes of definition. Freedom from definition might serve me well, at least for a little while.

Of Friday Last

Last Friday I was part of both a physical as well as digital congregation to welcome in the Sabbath. By the laws regarding the physical community I observed the Sabbath with, I should not have been able to take part in the cyber community in welcoming in their Sabbath. However, I am not currently shomer Shabbas, therfore I felt no great guilt about participating in the online congregation. Rather, the only thing I felt was slighlty tired as I had to stay up to midnight local time for the observances to begin. This was after a week filled with late nights for one reason or another.

I hoped that such a comparison (based off of the limits of my capability) would help be find which community I felt more more comfortable with. While the physical congregation offers things that the electronic congregation cannot, the ideals of the electronic congregation are more in line with how I am coming to understand Jewish practice. With the background that I am comming to the Jewish tradition from, I don't think that it is unusual that I am leaning towards more liberal interpretations of theology.

That being said, neither congregation is exactly what I am looking for in an ideal experience. I recognize that life often times is far from ideal and that we have to make due with what we have. I fully understand that seldom do you get to have the cake and eat it too. All of those things being said, I honestly feel that perhaps being without a congregation for a while might be the best idea for me. Instead of trying to force myself (even for a short period of time) into a place that I know I would continue to feel an outsider or to have a community where in I am so far removed from the members, allowing myself time for personal growth and reflection might be for the best. There was a great deal that I came to understand about myself religously by being without a congregation in China.

As I will be traveling bright and early on Saturday morning because of class, this coming Friday I will attend neither service. Also, if I understand my schedule correctly, I will not return for almost a week. By the time that I return, I will be so tired from travel that I doubt very much that I will wish to participate in either congregations service (even in the unlikely event that I do return before the Shabbat arrives in Denmark). These two Sabbaths without congregation will give me some of the time for reflection that I need. When I come back from this time away, I hope to have a better understanding of exactly what it is I want out of my religious experience here.

33rd Day (Fifth Friday)

Last Sunday, also known as Valentine's Day or Chinese New Year was the marker of me being in Copenhagen for one month (28 days to be more specific). Now, at the just over one month mark, it is my fifth Shabat in this country. For two of them I observed with Chabad, one of them I was in a different city in Denmark far from any Shul, and last Shabat I attempted to find the Reform Shul of Copenhagenm, but had no luck in that search. I eventually decided to celebrate with these folks as part of their online congregation. As much as the experience was enjoyable, there is something in celebrating the Shabat with a more physical community that an online congregation, no matter how wonderful the individuals may be, cannot give.

So in the hours that are left to me before Shabat arrives, I am faced with trying to decide how I want to observe. The commute to and from Chabad is relatively speaking easy. While I still feel an outsider because I am still unfamiliar with many Orthodox practices and rituals, at least there are some people I have begun to know there. I would like to try to find the reform congregation again, but as I have most likely stated before, my Danish is far from good enough to ask for directions, and my attempts at finding them on the internet have (so far) been unsuccessful. While I may yet find the correct key terms to search for in the hours that remain to me before the Shabat arrives, I won't hold my breath (as the old expression goes).

Besides my concerns regarding the day of rest, I have the usual things I am trying to juggle. I am trying to get to know my roommate better, take care of class work, keep in contact with my friends in the United States and elsewhere in the world, and plan where I will be going over the comming spring break. The weather has been shifting between relatively cool (somewhere around forty degrees Fahrenheit) and freezing wih frequent snow flurries for the last couple of days. All in all, it has been a fairly quiet week, which is one thing that I am grateful for. The moments of quiet are sometimes the best ones.

Of Spring Unending

Kunming is known as the city of Eternal Spring. Parts of Yunnan Province are beneath the Tropic of Cancer. This is a photo from a Daoist Mountain, not beneath the tropic but warm and pleasant when I visited. Compare this to the unending snows and cold I see here in Denmark, it is easy to understand why I think often of the city of spring unending.

Ghosts of Fridays (Past, Present, and Future)

So yet another Friday day has arrived in this country called Denmark, and again I am wondering what I will be doing this coming Friday night. I still stand by the earlier comments I made regarding how I felt regarding Chabad. However, one cannot bring in the Sabbath by oneself. I am to go without a spiritual community for another three months just because I have some differences of practices and interpretations? Beyond that, what happens afterwards, when I come back to the states? Will I be able to find a community where I am at peace with the practices and beliefs or must I always be wandering from shul to shul?

When in China, I accepted that there would be some things that I would have to give up in terms of my religious practices. As amazing as where I was is, it is not one a community that has a large Jewish population. It was a short ride by plane (or a rather longer ride by train) to the nearest city with a minyan (and that would have been with Chabad). While I was able to keep the fast on Yom Kippur (perhaps the hardest time in recent memory), and did my best to keep what observances I could, I went to China knowing that I was not going to be practicing regularly. With that attitude, I made my peace and went around Southwest China having the time of my life.

When I came to Denmark, I knew that there would not be many options for me to practice. I knew that I would most likely have to go to Chabad. Having gone, I am grateful for the experiences that I have had so far, but I am far from certain that they are experiences that I wish to repeat (almost) every week until I return to the United States. I have heard of a Reform congregation somewhere in the greater Copenhagen area, but they have not made their information as readily accessable as Chabad's is. I will most likely try to find them, but considering my inablity to speak Danish, I know that my search will (in all probability) lead me no where and fast.

My experiences in my travels (both past and present) lead me to wondering what I will do come future Shabbats or holidays. If I do end up in the future where I think I will (back in China or somewhere else in Southeast Asia) I know with all likelihood that I will not be able to keep certain practices. Having come to some understanding of myself in terms of my religious practice, I am no longer certain if that would be a long term option.

I recognize my crises are minor and that I should have no right to rant and ramble as I do. However at least writing this gets things off my chest.

Day 9

Perhaps it just this month that has me down and out. I have never been fond of February. In trying to find time to do laundry, managing what money I have for the shortest month of the year, trying to be on top of my class work (where it is oh so easy to fall behind without intending to), getting the room organized, and other concerns, I have tuckered myself out. Yes, I wrote tuckered. I know it's a silly word, but it is one that is not used nearly enough.

There is a wonderful song about February sung by the incomprable Dar Williams. She manages to convey the feelings about this, the shortest month, better than I ever could. I heavily recommend that everyone listen to it, if at all possible. February, despite being only 28 days this year, still manages to make every one of those days last. Perhaps it is because it is the last true month of winter. I know the groundhog saw his shadow, so it will be a long winter. (Note, I do not know if the predictions of said groundhog apply to Europe, I certainly hope they do not=

I know I should not complain. Many states back home are experiencing one of the most bitter winters in recent memory. What right do I have to complain? As of yet, I have not been seriously troubled by the weather. I am still able to move as I please. Perhaps I am just letting my attitudes about this month get to me. Perhaps I am even more homesick then I realized.

Whatever the reason, February's 28 days will pass slowly. Only a quarter of a way through the month and I want it to end already. To quote someone or other "This does not augur well."

A Stranger

So last Friday was Tu Bishavat, leading to a packed house at Chabad in Denmark. Dealing with so many people as well as a personal issue (related to my family), I could not connect the same way as I could last week. I know that as one worships, one is supposed to empty their mind of all things but devotion. Unfortunately, I was not able to achieve such a state of mental focus last week. As such, it enabled me to focus more on my reactions to the service and the community than I might otherwise be able to do so.

I reckognized that I felt the stranger there as I feel in all of Denmark. In the case of the country, there are many reasons why I might feel like a stranger. The most obvious being I am a linguistic outsider, I have little to no knowledge of the Danish language. All I can effectively say in Danish is "I don't speak Danish." Although I was more obviously an outsider (at least in terms of appearance) in China, I was able to follow some of what was going on around me (at least some of the time.) A shared language is one of the many ways that one can and often times does find a sense of belonging.

As to why I felt like a stranger within Chabad...there are many rituals/customs/observances that I have not been previously exposed to. Since I have started to practice, I have followed ideas closer to Conservative or Reform Judaism (depending on if at home or college.) The practices of the Orhtodox community make me feel like an outsider as they are practices that I am not yet familiar. More than though, in a sense, I feel somehow...lesser. I know that even were I to 'toe party line' with the Orthodox community here, the feeling of being lesser would still most likely be with me.

There is a certain amount of self knowledge that I have managed to acquire through a life time of questioning. Among the first things I learned was that there is someone who will always be more (fill in the status here) then I am. In this case, there will always be individuals more devout. I know that if I pushed myself to the same level of devotion, I still would feel lesser. I know that if I tried to be closer to that ideal of devotion, I would still be unhappy with large parts of myself. I have to remind myself that it is okay to have this religious confusion and to not be as devout as those others attending Chabad.

Hopefully, publishing this will help me remember.

Second Friday

So I have ended my second week of classes and soon my second week in Denmark will be over. I have already begun counting the days until I leave, but this is not so unusual. I did something very much like it when I was in China, although it took me longer before I stared the counting of the days, and I updated that count only when I had nothing better to do with my time. Here, I make sure that there is a small tally mark in the back of my physical journal every night before I go to sleep.

Now that I have had all my classes at least once, here comes the feeling that I might have bitten off more than I can chew. Again, something not so out of the ordinary. I had the feeling as I began each of my previous college semesters. Every semester, I manage to pull myself together and digest everything that I have bitten off. Sorry for the slightly gross food analogy, but being hungry does tend to focus one's mind on a singular point.

With this being my second Friday, I will soon make the pilgrimage (after a fashion) to Chabad of Denmark of an evening of prayer, community, and dining. Since my first experience with the Orthodox community here, I have been questioning what I know of myself religiously almost constantly. I don't know to what extent my experiences of Friday last will shape me as a religious/spiritual person. Perhaps in this community I might find what I have been seeking for so long. Even if this is not where I decide to make my spiritual home, at least I will have been.

Knowing where one feels uncomfortable (spiritually/religiously speaking) is as important as knowing where one feels comfortable. Last Friday, I was so overwhelmed with the newness of everything that I did not have time to notice my comfort level with what was going on. Tonight, I will try to pay more attention to that. However, I may again get swept up in the experience, only to do for another week what I have spent the last week doing. These periods of intense self questioning are far from new, and I would be surprised even if I do carefully monitor my comfort level if I spent time questioning why I felt whatever level of comfort I may feel.

I know that there is no such thing as an easy answer, at least in terms of religious formulation. People have spent life times navigating the myriad oceans of religious experience. In all probablity, I will do the same, as I am always questioning. I wish I could say that these intense examinations make me a better person, but I'm far from certain of that. I willingly admit that all I can do is watch, react, and analyze my reactions as this situaion continues to unfold/evolve.

First Week

I've survived my first week in Denmark. I say it like that because I just feel...worn out for lack of a better term. China was certainly a different experience, or perhaps it was the program I went to China with. The programs are night and day to each other. While in China we did have classes, there was (or it felt like there was) more time for me to be involved in the community there. I was able to talk with my host family about important issues (to both them and myself), wander my way around the city, study the martial arts, and fit in time to do my homework\reading for my next classes. Here, I have yet to find that same rhythm. Perhaps it is a matter of time. After all, it took my two full weeks to get fully into the swing there.

So what are my thoughts about the first week of fifteen with this program? So far, I cannot but stop thinking about China. Every time I come across a difficulty here, I have to remind myself that I overcame something similar in China. Every time I find myself feeling homesick or overwhelmed, I remind myself that I did very well in China facing difficulties with far less contact to the states. Denmark is China's opposite in almost every respect. Perhaps I didn't give myself long enough to readjust to a more "Western" culture after I had left China. I'll never know.

The classes, or those that I have taken, do seem interesting. I have a full five courses, which reminds me of the beginning of my sophomore year of university. I will see how the course load comes along. Hopefully I will be able to link at least two of the final papers together, so instead of five term papers, I only write four. Even then none of these papers are required to be close to what I wrote in China. There I wrote my magnum opus (at least in terms of my current academic works.)

One thing that has been interesting is that in Denmark, the Jewish population is almost exclusively Orthodox. Before coming here, I had little to no interaction with the Orthodox community. In my religious leanings, I consider myself somewhere between the Conservative and Reform communities. As I am still learning much about Judaism as a participant instead of a student, I have to say there were many things with which I was unfamiliar in the Orthodox service I attended on Friday.

Is this to say that I didn't like it? Not in the least. It was certainly different from my previous experiences, but that does not mean it was a bad thing. I am still far from able to cognitively process everything about the service. I know that there was a strong sense of community, and there was a strong sense of fellowship. All of that said, I don't know yet if that is for me. As the Orthodox community seems to be the only one I can find, I will continue to attend services with them. Who knows, perhaps by the end of my time in Cophenhagen, I will have found a community to which I feel I belong...

"Senses of the Sea"

Again I have forgotten, as my

toes grip the shore. “Your race was

not meant to remember,” my mother whispers

as yet another of her white stallions crashes and then

retreats from the thousands of shards of rock. ‘You,’ I

sigh, ‘commanded me to remember.”

Above me, a seagull caws, and I

know that I will never live to see an

albatross. Those who do see themselves as lucky, until

its blood lies spilled with that of Sedna’s

multitudinous brood. Once my hand was

wrapped, not around yours, but around

the ebony handle with a moon kissed

blade.

I smell the salt, and the water, and think if Lot

had cried for his wife, would she have returned? Would

the Lord have extended mercy were she mourned? Gomorrah

is now forgotten, for it wished not to know. Knowledge, the

most ancient of sins, incarnated hung low

and a serpent hissed promises of a new birth

with the consumption there of.

“Does my taste still fill your mouth?” You demanded as I

took my well worn book off your shelf. I never answered, and

my footfalls were silent as I walked away. It was ever my

nature to do so. I am the ocean’s child, and love

for me is the flick of a whale’s tail. Glorious for a moment

and then back into the obsidian waters where it will

battle a Kraken in mortal combat. I could never forget

your taste, peaches, honey, and wine of a year that the

ocean drank much of as the Titanic drowned.

I still hear you moan at night, but it is Zephyr. My bed

has been an iceberg for over five months now. Soon

someone will see me dancing, and a small glass filled

with crimson will be placed into my hand. A conversation

of nothings will follow, a buzzing of bees for its content. Then

I will smile. Soon enough, we will be lovers, and my name, a prayer, will

fall from their lips as it once did from yours.

I have forgotten, what I am not quite sure. Perhaps it was your true

name. The one whispered only once by me as you slept.

My heart.

First Thoughts of Denmark

As mentioned in my last post, I was just slightly out of it. Not that I am ever fully with "it" (whatever "it" may be, but that is a post for another time.) I am currently studying in Denmark. Yes, that's right, Denmark. The Southernmost of the Scandinavian countries is where I will be for the next four months, and at every step, I can't but help to draw up some sort of comparison to the country I lived in last for an extended period, China. So far, with all due respect to the nice people I've met so far here in Denmark, I think I perferred China.

I know that is an odd thing to say, but when I went into China, I had some basic knowledge that I lack about Denmark. In China, I was familiar with Mandarin Dialect Chinese, so if I spoke slowly enough, I could be at the least understood by most people. In Denmark, although most of the population speaks English, I find it harder to communicate for whatever reason. While in China, I was not with an intensive language program, so I wasn't forced to speak Chinese all the time. However, I found by the end of my time in China that I was much more comfortable communicating in Mandarin. To be fair to Danish, I have not, nor will not, devote the same amount of time to it as I have to Mandarin (2.5 years so far). That doesn't change the feeling that even were I to speak Danish, I wouldn't be able to communicate well.

Another thing is in Denmark I feel less connected. In China, especially with the group I went with, I could not but be connected. I got to know the people I traveled with very well, and some of them have become members of my 'family'. Again, to be fair to Denmark, I haven't been here that long yet, and I am with a rather larger group of students. Perhaps there may come a time when I develop the same sort of connection to some of these fellow participants that I developed with those I traveled in China with. Currently though, I don't see that happening quickly.

When in China, I was made to hit the ground running, and it never fully stopped. Even in the moments of rest we did have, there was always the knowledge of what was to come, and that kept one's metaphorical feet in motion. Perhaps I will yet find my stride here, I have only been in this country since Sunday. However, the 'honeymoon period' I feel is already comming to an end. Perhaps it is a sticker shock. I could blame the value of the dollar, or just as easily the expenses of living in what has been described as a wellfare state. I guess its just something I will have to get used to.

In the meantime though, I will continue to mutter in Chinese under my breath and look for any opportunity to prepare some of the dishes my host mother taught me to cook.

Regularity

I have tried, and failed in keeping this blog regularly updated. The truth of the matter is that I can come up with any number of excuses why I have not posted until today. Any one of them might be a valid excuse, but it would not absolve me, not completely anyway. Considering that I type around thirty-words per a minute (give or take), it should take just about twenty minutes to create a post around 600 words in length. Most of the time, my posts are significantly less than that.

I am not making any excuses for a lack of updates. I could well say that considering that my life by many standards is ordinary, I don't have the material necessary for a blog. However, I know of many with lives more 'ordinary' than mine who are able to update their own blogs (be it on this website or others) with a great degree of regularity. So, as always, it comes down to a matter of motivation, of putting fingers to keyboard. As always, I am not satisfied with the content of this post. I could say what has happened recently, but the truth is I am still digesting what a radical change has occurred in the past 24 to 48 hours (more details when my brain isn't so scrambled).

So, I promise to be more regular, if I can. At least one post a week. One post of this length takes no time at all. So, until next week,

Rites of Passage

As an anthropologist in training, one of the things I have learned not to do is make wide general statements. That said, it seems like almost every culture has some form of a rite of passage, where a person progresses from one stage of their life to the next. Perhaps one of the most well known examples is the Bar or Bat Mitzvah ceremony where a young man or woman recites passages from the Torah before they become an adult in the eyes of their congregation/community. Another well known example (after a fashion) may be eighteenth birthday in the United States, when one is legally an adult, and thus can vote, fight for their country, and buy cigarettes. These are just some of the better known examples, however history and culture are both filled with countless more examples.

I bring all of this up as a reflection on something I read in April of 2009. It was an article for one of my classes. In that article, one of the arguments made was that almost all rites could be seen as rites of passage. I don't know if I agree with that point of view, but the author did make a compelling argument. Everything moves us from one to another point of life. Everything takes us from one destination to another. There is the journey, and that in itself is a rite of passage.

A Long Goodbye

Due in part to my love for film, I have noticed something of a line that by now I'm sure has become something of a cliche, "I hate long goodbyes." If not those exact words, variations of them conveying the same message, while not omnipresent, often do occur. In my immediate circle of friends, I can think of no one who truly relishes a long goodbye. There is something that makes the process slightly more painful when it is drawn out. When we are forced to make our peace many times with perhaps not seeing someone again, we give more of ourselves (at least, most of the time I feel that I do). It is not that long goodbyes don't have their places, just far too much do people comment on how they don't like them.

Sometimes, we have to take what farewells we can get. Those in favor of long goodbyes may say because of this every goodbye should be a longer one. I don't hold to that point of view. We say goodbye where and when we can. If that's all we get, well there's no use in complaining about it. We can feel guilty all we want, but as long as we say good bye, no matter the length, we've done all we can do for those we are leaving or those who are leaving us. We take what can get, and that's just the way the world is sometimes.

Resolutions

After much meditation, I have come to three resolutions that I hope to keep for the coming year. It is shorter than the original five, however considering what they are, I know I haven't made anything easy for myself. However, resolutions by their nature aren't supposed to be easy things. I guess in part that's why we make them, to challenge ourselves. I once heard that something like 94% of all New Year's resolutions are broken in the first three months of a year. Given my previous experience, it is a statistic that I am willing to believe, but I hope to prove that record wrong.

My first resolution is to no longer take the name of the Lord in vain. It is something that I did entirely too much last year. While (as I have been becoming more conservative in my religious practices) I have cut down on the numbers of the Big 10 (Commandments that is) I have been breaking, taking the Name in vain has always been one of the ones that I break, early and unfortunately often. Would that I could blame it all on popular culture or something else much like that, but the truth of the matter is that I am at fault here. I need to be responsible for my own actions, and as such, I will do what I can to no longer say the Name in vain.

My second resolution is about sobriety. I do not like the person I become when I drink. While I have always tried to be responsible in my alcohol use, I recognize that the only way I can be completely comfortable with myself is not to use. I don't shun those who choose to use, nor do I condemn them. Rather, I rest on the limited self knowledge that I have managed to acquire so far in my life. I don't like the person I become, and certain gates are not meant to be opened. So during 2010, I will be stone cold sober.

Finally, this summer, I am going to do everything in my power to keep Kosher. By this summer I don't mean the period between the Summer Solstice and the Autumnal Equinox. I mean the period at which I am home and have a little bit more freedom in my ability to prepare food. I have gone Kosher before (ironically enough during the Lent of 2009) and found that I felt better about myself during the period. I recognize that Kosher isn't necessarily better for health (as there are many deliciously heart clogging Kosher dishes) nor does Kosher mean that all aspects of the food preparation are as ethical as the slaughter (as evidenced by the raiding of a Kosher slaughter house where there were many illegal aliens working). However, Kosher for me this summer will not be about cleanliness. It will be part of my attempt to find my way in the Jewish community, which is becoming an increasingly larger part of my life.

So there you have them, my three resolutions. I just hope I manage to keep one of them all year.